What We Talked and Learned: An Incomplete Collection of Club Meeting Minutes 2018

We documented more than half of the club events held in 2018, summarizing what we learned and/or shared at the meetings.  All events were conducted in English except for the voice projection workshop and the lecture on leadership.  Some of the minutes are written in English, the others in Chinese.  Particularly, for the East&West Dialogues on October 18 and November 15, we used a thank-you letter and a follow-up mail to and from the guest speakers, respectively, as summaries because they were self-explanatory.  For a sketch of all the activities the East and West Learning Club undertook in the year 2018, please visit Our 2018: A Retrospect.

February 1, 2018

Minutes by Yang (in which special thanks were paid to Principal Pate, Judith Lawrence and Nancy Chen for their help with the opening event of 2018!)

 

Improv Classes (February 8 to May 3, 2018 minutes by Yang)

 

March 1, 2018

Minutes by Eric

 

March 22, 2018

Minutes by Eric

And

Reading notes: Emily Post’s Etiquette — Common Courtesies by Yang

 

April 12, 2018

Minutes by Eric

 

May 10, 2018

Minutes by Yang

 

May 17, 2018

Minutes by Jackie

 

May 24, 2018

Minutes by Agnes


March 17, 2018

Grace 317日我们全家参加了学东西俱乐部组织的参观皇家博物馆的活动。女儿Linda前两年参观过博物馆,但随着年龄增长,这次参观又有了新的感悟。我先生是第一次参观,对博物馆的精美文物,二楼教学互动环节,整洁有序的管理印象深刻。这次的参观除了平常开放的展览,我们还参观了迪奥公司服装设计展,优雅经典的设计又不失现代时尚元素,透露出大气和个性,不仅是时装的展示更是公司文化理念的呈现。在wild life 摄影展,我和Wang YangLinda细细欣赏了获奖作品,很多作品的构图色彩给人以强烈的视觉冲击,非常震撼。Linda 对有两条sea angel 的画印象深刻,回家后我们还上网查了一下。这种生物很小,英寸长,是一种深海里的软体动物。鱼鳍是透明的,很象天使的翅膀。非常感谢我们度过了有意义的一天。

 

Yang: Aaron最喜欢Wild Life Photography展览里一幅背景纯白的雪地照骗,画面中间有一只头埋在雪里的狐狸。他说这照片对比强烈,很有focus。我回家后给生病的Eric看了印度少年拍出的黑鸟夕阳照,意境太神似马致远的那首诗了,Eric于是很快就背会了“枯藤老树昏鸦,小桥流水人家,古道西风瘦马,夕阳西下,断肠人在天涯” 。谢谢你们的照顾,特别要谢谢Linda小朋友耐心地给我读了好几幅作品的说明,声音真好听,让我也得以欣赏摄影作品。

 

August 26, 2018

Yang: 今天下午的ROM Walk聽一段King Street的前世今生,報業歷史人物故事老建築的風格及保護等,很有意思,就是信息量太大了[调皮]@Amy @Lucy Liu  你們若有印象深刻的記憶,不妨寫出來分享。我印象最深的是William Mackenzie的故事。在其創辦的Colonial Advocate上提倡平權、政教分離,砲轟官官相護、互相聯姻的權貴集團,還領導武裝暴動,,過後避風美國,幾年後重返多倫多,繼續各項事業。。。很傳奇。他的孫子成了聯邦總理,頭像印在50元鈔票上,有了更大的影響力,可以從內部改革社會體制。我翻過一本叫Alias Grace的歷史小說,講1840年代多倫多地區的一樁僕人殺死主僕二人的故事。裡面就有對King Street的描寫,其中的男犯被絞死在今天參觀過的法院廣場上。你能看到那時下層人民的窮困艱苦,社會等級森嚴。我看的時候就xiang,今天這個比較平等的社會,是怎麼演變來的呢?是下層階級的抗爭,還是上層社會的良心發現,還是老天爺的旨意或者別的什麼原因?這個有著很大熱情和能量的Mackenzie的所作所為給了一部分答案。

 

Lucy: 大家好…今天下午短短两个小时真是不虚此行。以前经常在king street上行走,但对各种建筑的历史从未了解,也是第一次参加ROM的活动,没料到一路介绍的信息量这么大,很遗憾我没有拍照片。king street 上的一些建筑是历史上几家报业公司的所在地,每一家报业后面代表的利益集团也不一样,有侧重自由党的,也有侧重保守党的,还有为黑人社区或者劳工阶级服务的。一些建筑是由一些著名的设计师设计的,富含不同时期和文化背景的特色,比如芝加哥风格,罗马风格,希腊风格,通过讲解了解了很多建筑设计方面的知识,非常有趣。king street上甚至以前还有过法庭监狱。非常奢华的爱德华王子酒店内首次设计了妇女专用电梯和入口。由于没有记录和录音,很多信息不能详细和大家分享,我希望下次参加此类活动我能充分做好准备再和大家好好分享…

 

September 20, 2018 Voice Projection Workshop facilitated by Yuan Gao

Yang: 声带如肌肉,通过经常的发音锻炼,可以让它更强健,变得不易受伤,发音清亮。当然专业人士还要进行呼吸、控制发音和气流部位等方面的练习。我们日常生活中,可以用一个简单的方法来“按摩”、锻炼自己的声带,就是经常瞅空练习发“啊”的音。要领就是Carmen记的这几条:

 

  1. 忘掉声音

意思是不要让声带紧张,保持放松状态,嗓子舒服的状态。

  1. 声带完全闭合

这个不现场听,很难理解。发出的声音不应该带鼻音,或者像漏气一样很虚,要实。

  1. 让声音贴地走

发音时想象自己的声音是一团汽车的影子,贴在地面。这样发音就会比较低沉有磁性。

  1. 要有愉悦感提颧肌

就是两块颧骨那儿的肌肉是紧张的、向上提的,好像要微笑一样。这样发出来的声音是愉悦的。

  1. 软腭抵在后咽壁

6、一步一步训练,稳定后再练下一步,渐渐就习惯成自然了,也就是有了细胞记忆。

 

另外,有人说话声音过小,或闷在嗓子里,上面的训练应该也有帮助。需要经常与人面对面地交流、说话,锻炼自然大方的说话方式。我在另一位西人教授那里听来的一条,觉得对这个也挺有用:在你和别人说话时,用意念让自己的声音能清晰地传送到对方耳朵里;这样根据空间远近位置的不同,你自然会更有意识地调整音量、呼吸、发音位置等。这个看起来好像是在说废话,其实你练一下就知道,加了意念后你发音真的就不一样了。

 

For September 27, 2018

Yang: 昨晚Roy和Maggie到读书会参与我们的讨论,我们因此对市政选举的现状、选区的划分、名额变动的利弊以及对我们爱静阁选区和候选人的影响、trustee和City Councillor主要做些什么、为什么有的学校课外活动多而有的比较少等等问题有了更多了解。

Yang delivered a statement at the biginning of the meeting:“Hello everyone!  Welcome to the East and West Learning Club!  This is our first regular book club meeting after the summer break, and we will do the 1-minute presentation, talk about some questions or problems we have had or experienced with regards to etiquette, and discuss on a hot topic nowadays about Premier Doug Ford and the Toronto municipal election.  I am very pleased to see you all here.  Many of us are ACI parents or students, and We have two participants of ACI background who are actually running for the election!  So I’m really looking forward to a dynamic discussion with diverse perspectives!  However, because we happen to have two candidates here, I would like to make it clear before we start, that our club is a cultural, community-based, not-for-profit group that helps immigrant families  adapt to the Canadian society through on-going learning and communicating with each other as well as with people from other cultural backgrounds.   It is not political or religious at all.  We encourage everyone at the meeting to voice their opinion in a genuine, polite and constructive way, but the opinions belong to the individuals themselves, and have nothing to do with the Club, the Principal who has applied for the permit for our club’s use of the facility, the School where we are now, and TDSB that has granted the permit to support this community culture-learning project.  Thank you, dear participants, and again, welcome!”

 

September 28, 2018

Yang: 9月28号是我们第一次尝试午间聚会。结果新老成员们围桌而坐,用英语畅谈、分享彼此的生活和想法,非常有收获。这里试举几例:

 

—孩子上kindergarten,放学去接他时,他拼命想打开教室墙上一个关得很紧的门。我呵斥他,叫他不要乱动学校的东西。但这时学校的负责老师正好路过,见状过来和我们打招呼,并为孩子打开门,给他详细介绍里面各个开关的用处、乱动的话会有什么后果,最后问孩子是否满意了?老师是否可以关门了?我非常震惊,觉得自己小时候从来没有被大人这样尊重过。这也促使我开始重审自己对孩子的态度。

 

—孩子越长大,身边的社交圈就越趋向自己的族裔。包括成年人,在公司里吃午饭时,也多半是中国人围坐在一起聊天,很难长期或深入地与其他族裔的人群交流。我曾问女儿为什么不跟邻居那个看上去很有礼貌的印度女孩一起玩?她告诉我,有时候礼貌可以是拒绝深交的一种姿态。我们可能破冰这样的文化隔阂吗?如何破?这也是我想来参加这个读书会的原因。

 

—感觉加拿大的公立学校对学生的学术水平抓得不细不仅,对他们坚毅品格的培养更缺乏。老师总说一切都好都没问题。我女儿以前不听我话,但现在上大学了,反而非常愿意听我讲有关三观的问题,说你以前怎么从来没对我说过这些?不过这里的公立教育系统对成人终身教育有很好的支持。所以小孩即使大学考得不理想或发现专业选得不对也没太大关系,只要自己愿意努力,总有很多再教育机会。

 

——我以前给孩子报各种运动项目的课外活动,大人小孩都疲于奔命,他们埋冤,我则委屈,觉得他们不理解我为他们下的苦心。

 

October 4 and 5, 2018

Yang: 10月4号晚及5号中午,学东西俱乐部的日常读书会上,成员们用英语分享个字生活、学习讨论礼仪书籍,下面是我印象比较深的几点内容:

 

—一位成员在荷兰及加拿大都住过八年。荷兰是个黄、赌、毒均合法化的国家,但社会秩序相当好,很少犯罪事件,医生可上门服务,也没有什么种族歧视。除了吃不到丰富的中餐外,这位成员和孩子都更喜

欢荷兰。

— 一位12年级学生对大麻合法化后,吸二手烟的可能表示忧虑,因为大麻气味难闻且比香烟更浓烈。

— 一位11年级学生用自己打工的钱从多伦多当地乐队成员那里买了一把电吉他。

— 大家也讨论了瑞典游客事件和中国私企现状。

— 一位成员在一次朋友聚会中领悟到,对那些迟到的朋友,可采取更宽容的态度,体察他们个字迟到的理由,这样自己不会太焦虑因而更能享受聚会的乐趣;另一位成员则对各方面都挺好的一个朋友聚会总是迟到、好像要以此显示其重要性的做法表示不解。

— 一位成员参加了一个公益性的演讲培训班,觉得很有收获,并答应会尽量分享所学知识,比如用pegging的方法迅速记忆等。

— 周四晚学习的是旅游出行的各种礼仪做法,如旅行中的分工合作,飞机、火车上的注意事项等;周五中午学的是礼仪的原则尊重、为别人考虑以及诚实。

 

For October 11, 2018

这周我们聚会时,除了分享各自生活,咱们来练练small talks。下面这个链接里的内容看似还不错,大家可先看一下做参考:How to Make Small talk — with Conversation Samples:

https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Small-Talk

 

For October 18, 2018

Hi Chris and Lynda,

 

It was so nice chatting with you last Thursday!  Thanks a lot for coming as guest speakers, and sharing those interesting experience at our book club!  We could envision aScarboroughian boy selling souvenir on steam excursions, taking photographs and developing Kodachrome films, cycling a long way to see the horses in Toronto police stables, beating up bullies, getting hurt while roller skating to protect an old man which ultimately resulting in meeting the other half…and a girl going through school bullies  but growing up to be a devoted, beloved President of the Trailblazers Tandem Cycling Club…and how the two of you got to meet each other in the nick of time!  As different as your lives are from ours, we can feel the same joys, pains, and efforts we all have experienced to walk through day-to-day life.  I believe that’s how people get to learn and understand people other than themselves, and develop connections with each other.  I truly appreciate your spending the time,promoting this mutual-understanding process between immigrants and local people like yourselves.

 

Thank you very much, and we wish you health, happiness and prosperity in the years ahead!

 

Love,

Yang

 

October 25, 2018

Yang: 今晚的“东西对话”来了三位艺术家,带来很多原创作品,听他们讲画、创意、生活点滴、AGO藏品、参观礼仪等,轻松愉快,很有收获。连我这个不懂艺术的人也产生了一种被激发的新鲜感。记录注意事项如下:保持与展品至少1米的距离,不用手摸;尽量少拍照,因为博物馆、画廊是去实地欣赏艺术品的地方,;如果要拍展品,勿用闪光灯;如果带了小孩子,一定要带在身边管好,不能让孩子乱跑乱叫。

 

November 1, 2018

Yang: 今晚我知道了安省的一个早教项目,所有6岁前的孩子都可免费享受。大家对高中里的Outdoor Education这门课以及班上男生女生的不同表现也非常感兴趣。现在万圣节讨糖后孩子们会挑出可疑分子扔掉。单亲妈妈生活不易,学习精神可嘉。某人对捧到一块沉甸甸的奥运金牌感到十分得意。。。最后大家就“种子是否有生命”展开辩论。正反方的语言都让我感到富有生命的诗意

 

Helen:周四晚上的这个talking club 太棒了!既可以互相分享信息,增长见识,提高英文,还有助于结识不同领域的朋友,互通有无,它让我拥有了一个除了老乡,校友和教友之外的朋友圈。谢谢。组织的非常好。

 

November 8, 2018

Yang: 今晚新老成员济济一堂。其中三位分享了与CAS有关的故事,两位发表了对“钱”的想法。有成员因为政府翻译没到场被豁免了交通罚款。有人和安省艺术与设计学院的学生一起位AGO的艺术品的另类欣赏做了点工作。孩子们则描述了他们丰富多彩的生活,包括位冰球队和医院义卖巧克力、粉亚裔Hip-hop歌星、即将作为合唱团和乐团成员去别校演出、翘课,等等。大家还围绕“成长中最想改变的一种教育理念/方式”这个话题各抒己见。有人希望家长更思想开放、更积极正面,有人但愿家长给予更多关注和陪伴。

 

For November 15, 2018

Dear Yang,

 

Thank you for the hospitality shown by you and your members on November 15 and for your e-mail message of thanks.  Please find below links to portals, contacts, and references with respect to our Climate Change Action discussion.

 

Kind Regards,

Marilyn

 

 

Ontario New Climate Action Plan Ministry of Environment, Conservation and Parks portal

Deadline for recommendations for the Ontario New Climate Action Plan was November 16, 2018

For those interested, the Ministry should be posting a Draft Ontario New Climate Action Plan at this portal for comment sometime in December 2018

 

https://www.ontario.ca/page/environment-and-energy

 

Recommendation points on Climate Action in Ontario: What’s Next? 2018 Greenhouse Gas Progress Summary Report from the **  ECO, Environmental Commissioner of Ontario’s  https://docs.assets.eco.on.ca/reports/climate-change/2018/Climate-Action-in-Ontario-Summary.pdf

 

** Not sure how long the ECO link will be available as the Provincial government just cut this independent, auditing office early this week

 

Link to Citizens Climate Lobby (CCL)

 

https://canada.citizensclimatelobby.org/

 

CCL Contact for Scarborough should there be interest in volunteering with CCL or finding out more information on this organization

douglasjpritchard@gmail.com

 

 

CCL is a non partisan volunteer, international organization with the goal to educate Canadians and their elected officials on the benefits of a carbon neutral fee.  Such a carbon neutral fee has been proposed by the current Federal Government for Canadian Provinces and Territories that do not have a Climate Action Caron Plan in place.  British Columbia has had such a carbon fee in place at $30 dollars a tonne of CO2. As a result BC will be exempt from the Carbon Fee that our Federal government will put in place in 2019. Quebec has a Cap and Trade carbon fee arrangement with California so Quebec will also be exempt. Ontario had a Cap and Trade arrangement with Quebec and California until the current Ontario Provincial government axed it this year. The Ontario government plans to spend about $30 million of tax payer dollars to fight the Federal Carbon Fee and Dividend. The Ontario Government has also set aside millions of tax dollars for potential litigation from companies who invested in the Cap and Trade Program.

 

How a “Revenue-neutral” Carbon Fee and Dividend works

A rising fee is place on fossil fuel on their CO2 content, upstream (well or mine) and Port of Entry into the country, for the federal level, or entry into the province.  All the money collected is returned to legal residents or households, on an equitable basis. Under this plan the low and middle income will be protected as approximately 66% of all households would break even or recieve more in their dividend cheque than they paid in increased costs.  A predictably increasing carbon price will send a clear market signal which will unleash entrepreneurs and investors in the new clean-energy economy.

 

Federal Backstop Policy Impact

The Federal Backstop will raise gasoline prices in 2019 by $0.046/litre, well within the range of local prices in a typical city.

Some politicians are trying to spread a myth that carbon pricing will make fuel cost more than Canadians can afford. Evidence says otherwise as seen in  Quebec, British Columbia and  Sweden.

Canadians in provinces where no Carbon Fee exists will be subject to the Federal Backstop.

The Federal Government will implement Climate Action Incentive Payments

Climate Action Incentive Payments for Ontario from 2019 through 2022.

In 2019 an individual will receive $154

a spouse will receive $77

a child will receive $38

a family of 4 will receive $307

For more information on the Climate Action Incentive Payments and how these Payments will increase over time please see:

https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/climate-change/pricing-pollution-how-it-will-work

 

November 22, 2018

Yang: 非常感谢Mason老师百忙中抽空来学东西俱乐部,做了一场关于领导力与交流技巧的公益讲座。下面是我的简要记录。如有错误请指正。在座的若有补充、评论或反馈,欢迎跟帖。

 

—领导力体现在让团队完成任务的过程中,即有能力把事情从A点推进到B点。

—日常生活中,如果一次完美的交谈算100分,那么其中语言能力,也就是把话说清楚,只能贡献7分,有38分来自说话的语音语调,剩下55分则得益于面部表情、肢体语言等。

—东西方文化在“交流”问题上看法有较大差异。西方社会心理普遍较为外向,喜欢口头表达出想法、情绪,对这样的人更容易信任、亲近,而对沉默寡言者会觉得难以捉摸,较难建立信任关系。东方社会则与之相反,一个夸夸其谈的人多半被认为不可靠、难以委以重任。

—几条基本的、但是对社会交往至关重要的心理建设原则:在守法前提下,自由自在地发挥、发展自己;不追求完美,积极正面地鼓励孩子锻炼推动事情发展、完成的能力;摒弃非黑即白的价值判断,尊重别人表达不同意见的权利;愿意改变自己、弥补不足去适应新文化;要有朋友圈,增加影响力;国人应多多互相帮助,形成一个彼此可以汲取力量的态势,增强族群整体的影响力。

 

可惜时间太短。希望Mason以后有机会再来做延伸讲解。听众非常活跃,很多人分享了自己的困惑或心得:

 

—一位成员表示,较少开口说话是因为觉得自己的英语不够好,内心总要求达到完美才开口。另一位成员说起她碰到的一位哥伦比亚移民,说一口简直一个字都听不懂、让人痛苦万分的英语。但这姑娘大方自然,表情热切,连比带划地希望别人能懂她,倒让人觉得她挺可爱,努力想去明白她。有这姑娘做对比,这位成员觉得自己不完美的英语实在不应拿来做不开口的借口。

—一位成员感觉自己以及不少同胞在日常交往中“Thank you”、“Please”、“Excuse me”等礼貌用语说得不够多。另外她观察到在工作中,开会时西人较擅长找出别人好的地方加以肯定,自己则倾向于指出别人有待改进的地方。对于这两点中西文化差异,俱乐部网站博客里有两篇原创文章专门加以讨论,感兴趣的欢迎一看:

《中国人说“Thank you”》 http://www.eawlc.org/chinese-saying-thank-you

《甜言蜜语vs良药苦口》 http://www.eawlc.org/sweetened-words-vs-bittersweet-pills

—一位成员在工作中与其他同事及顶头上司的关系有点不顺。该不该答应同事帮忙工作的请求?不答应,好像没有团队精神,同事也会不高兴,背后在老板面前说自己坏话;答应了,自己的工作进度受影响;顶头上司偏听偏信,给自己不好的evaluation,该不该跟他申辩?不说,吃哑巴亏;说,被老板认为顶撞上司或不虚心接受意见。能不能越级向老板的老板反映情况、述说真相?

感谢提问者,这些其实是很多职场人士都想问的难题。职场关系中涉及到的人、事不同,处理方式就会随之不同,很难在短时间内给出一个万全之策。不同个性的人也会有不同的应对方式。Mason老师和几位成员给出的建议包括:平时注意与同事搞好关系,有几个朋友,便不容易被当作牺牲品;见面友好地打招呼,给别人恰当的赞美等small talks对打破隔阂、拉近关系很重要;平时要和顶头上司有交流,ta可以从你这儿,而不是别人那里得到你的工作进展、为人处事态度等讯息;越级报告不是绝对不可以,如果你跟大老板很熟的话,那样也许在一次轻松的聊天中就可以顺便提一下;如果不是这种情况,那么一般说来需要非常谨慎,公事公办的话,你最好先给顶头上司打个招呼;其实最好的也许仍是去找顶头上司认真沟通;同事生病、有急事时你帮他代一下班是一回事,正常状态下你去做他自己应该做的工作是另一回事,前者是团队精神,后者是别人拿你当pushover(软柿子)捏。遇到后

者,你必须有礼貌但是坚定地告诉他你有你的工作要做,而他则需做好自己分内的工作。

—一位成员在工作中体会到,如果自己被误解,一定要及时澄清,说明原委。否则别人只听到错误信息,你却保持沉默,等于自己坐实了谣言或误解。即使后来你再试图解释,往往事倍功半,甚至于事无补了。在原则问题上,如果你很坚定,哪怕为此与人争吵,过后别人多半会因此更佳尊重你。这就是being assertive。

—俱乐部网站博客里有一篇原创文章,是对北美十几位职场老将的采访,专门讨论在职场上如何做到坚定而不固执冒进:

《北美职场老将分享:Assertiveness》

http://www.eawlc.org/%E5%8C%97%E7%BE%8E%E8%81%8C%E5%9C%BA%E8%80%81%E5%B0%86%E5%88%86%E4%BA%AB%EF%BC%9A-assertiveness

—很多人际关系问题,各人因个性不同会有不同处理方法。华人作为移民群体,对当地社会风俗习惯、主流思想价值观等也需要多加了解,才能知己知彼,百战不殆。鼓励成员们在每次俱乐部的“东西对话”特别活动中,多问问各位当地嘉宾,从不同人那里获得各种视角,加深对本地社会规则和心理的了解。也欢迎大家将问题发给我,我归总后,会邀请各方西人朋友集中作答。比如这篇文章,是我们2017年做的礼仪习俗问与答:

Social Etiquette Dialogue

http://www.eawlc.org/social-etiquette-dialogue-questions-1-10

 

谢谢Mason老师对学东西俱乐部的支持,谢谢大家的热情参与!

 

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